Wednesday, March 23, 2011
I know many of you already know this stuff...but I will record it for the sake of recording it.
In a nutshell. Our home in SoCal sold. We moved to Utah. Jeff started his new job with Deseret Book which means NO MORE WORKING ON SUNDAYS! Truly an answer to many many prayers. Settled into our new home. Love the area, the mountains, the neighbors, the church, being close to family, having a happy husband, and many more things! I have really enjoyed this winter and the true change of seasons that brings color to the trees and snow to the ground. Spring is here, my tulips are rising and I am happy to be entering a refreshing time of life.
January we were met with the challenge of our 3rd baby returning to her Heavenly Home a little earlier than expected. I was 17 weeks pregnant when I found out on a truly beautiful winter morning that I can still picture in my minds eye, that our baby had no heartbeat. We do have 3 beautiful and healthy girls. This is the 3rd second trimester miscarriage that we have experienced. Though with the first two we didn't find out the babies had passed until around 20 weeks. Because they were monitoring me weekly this time, we found out @ 17 weeks. It was determined the baby had passed just a few days before.
Each time we have delivered our little ones has been a challenge. The autopsy on this last one determined that it was a Girl, even though we initially thought it was a Boy. So, I have 2 boys and 1 girl in heaven. I feel close to them. I feel their spirits nearby and sense that they are very much a part of our family. Spencer Mark (Mar 2007), Evan Riley (Oct 2009), Carole Lynn (Jan 2011). They have things to do on the other side. I am okay with that. I wondered with the first loss, and have thought of it since, if these babies would consider me their Mother, and I truly feel like they do. I don't feel the need to get pregnant again any time soon. There are other things to focus on in the mean time. I trust that I will be inspired to know when to try again... and honestly I am to the point that if it ends in another miscarriage, I will be fine. If I get to raise the baby here on earth I will love that and treasure that gift. I've been to a place of pain and sorrow and come out of it 3 times. I still here. I am okay. I will survive and thrive regardless of the experiences of loss that might still be in my future. I am grateful to have faith in Christ. I know that it is His loving and tender mercies that give me the strength to look at life and the pains of life and know that I am still going to be okay.
I have been working on a blog/website with my sister, Allison, for the last 6 months called The Clothing Co-op. It has been fun and a way to use my creativity and ideas.
I have been studying and soon will be going to training for the Simply Healed Method by Carolyn Cooper. I am VERY excited for the things I will learn there and the many things I am learning now as I read many many books on the Healing Arts. I hope to blog more about that in the future.
I started my T-Tapp journey back in August 2010. Went on a break for my pregnancy and after my loss started up again with a vengence! I keep a blog on these exercise experiences at Everyday Exercise Therapy.
I continue to Homeschool my 2nd grader and Kindergartner. We are having great experiences and learn and teach each other everyday!
Jeff and I get to team teach the 6/7 year olds in Primary at church. It is a lot of fun to teach together and see how smart these kids are. We are blessed to be their teachers.
Eliza is one creative soul. Building new things, coloring, creating forts. She thinks big and enjoys life. She even thinks that she doesn't have chores at her house, because some how everything I ask her to do doesn't seem to be a chore or a job. I like that!
Norah just learned to ride her bike last week with NO training wheels. She loves the freedom of it. She is picking up on the whole reading thing very well. It is so fun to see her quiet maturity.
Zoe is Zoe. She still has a paci, and does a pretty good job communicating with it still in her mouth. She likes to say things like, "Ya Ya (Eliza) is both meh meh meh me." (bothering me) And, "I'm Home!" and "Where you been?" and loves everything Princess. She changes her clothes over 10x a day, mostly into different dresses. She never wants to be left out of the fun and often is found wrestling her big sisters.
Yes, that is my life in a Nutshell.